My Addiction Journey
I discovered alcohol when I was 14, and it felt like a miracle cure. Suddenly I wasn’t the insecure fat kid anymore. I was funny. I was confident. At least that’s how alcohol made me feel.
But that moment was the beginning of everything falling apart. School suffered. Motivation disappeared.
I became “the drunken funny guy,” and everyone laughed, but no one took me seriously. Not even me.
While my friends left for university, I stayed behind, watching their lives take off while I felt alone.
And when you feel left behind, what do you do? You drink more!
I put on more weight, became depressed, smoked a pack a day, with zero goals.
No purpose, no excitement—just working dead-end jobs. Bartender. Tech sales. Always the next easy thing.
Never anything meaningful.
Cocaine – The Next Level
At 30, I tried cocaine.
If alcohol made me confident, cocaine made me feel invincible.
Until it made me feel dead inside.
Debt piled up. I quickly started using alone.
I didn’t want to have other people around for 2 reasons:
1. I didn’t want to be judged.
2. I didn’t want to share.
Buying drugs, drinking, smoking, acting out.
I’ve since learned that most of us add another addiction to our substance abuse habit and in my case, that was online gambling.
Some Guy Sold Me Crack
At 31, I smoked crack for the first time.
I was on the street trying to find some powder but what I didn’t know is that you can’t find that stuff on the street, but you can find crack.
I bought a little bit “just to try it out”. I was hooked instantly.
Over the next 7 years:
-I lost my job after going on a drug binge during a sales conference.
-I went to rehab – 3 times.
-I became unemployable. (except for the job I got deliverying flyers)
-I was arrested for robbery while I was in rehab. (yes)
-My car was reposessed.
-I had many suicidal thoughts and one attempt.
My Last Binge – The Day That Changed Everything
I Finally Got Honest With Myself
I was 38 years old. Two days into a crack binge. No food. No shower.
I had tried getting sober the way most people do — white-knuckling meetings, trying to “hold on” one day at a time, hoping it would stick.
But I had no goals, no purpose, no excitement.
I had this feeling that this was how I was going to die, and at my funeral people would say “He was so funny, he was so talented and had so much potential, but he just couldn’t fix his drug problem”
That thought hit me hard and for the first time, I saw the truth: Nothing I was doing was actually helping me.
This was not the way I wanted to be remembered and I didn’t want to do that to my family.
I was still blaming everyone else for my life. Still waiting for someone to fix me instead of doing the hard work myself. I was still playing the victim role perfectly!
I realized that if I was going to be happy, I had to own my life and get to work on creting a future that I loved.
That was Aug 2, 2011 and I haven’t used anything since.
Since Then
•Lost 40 pounds
•Quit smoking
•Took 100% responsibility for my life
•Started multiple businesses
•Traveled a ton
•Spend summers in New York City – The place that lights me up
•Faced my dear of relationships/rejection
•Ran 20+ marathons. (Chicago, NYC, Philly, Vegas, Toronto)
•Personal best of 3:19 at age 51
•Build an incredible sober coaching business/recovery community
•Sat with my Dad as he passed. I was 6 years sober and he got his son back and that meant everything to him.
And Now?
I became the coach I wish I’d had back then, because here’s the truth that nobody told me: Sobriety is NOT the finish line, it’s the start.
It’s not just about not using —
it’s about building a life you’re excited to wake up to.
What we really need is a clear vision, strong community, fitness, accountability, and a new identity we’re proud of. This is what makes
up the identity shift we all need to have to stay clean for good.
I’m living proof that you cannot lose if you do not stop trying.
Why I Coach The Way I Do
I don’t teach people how to not use.
I coach them to become the version of themselves who never wants to.